A lot of listings went up in metaphorical flames this week, friends. Check out these bloopers and you’ll know why some listings are DOA. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for being my ever-vigilant third eye.
I Smell Smoke
"This pad is smokin" (And you obviously have been too, Stony.) “Charring back patio” (Reason # 1 not to mix tequila and butane.) “Open Sungay” – (Fancy snacks and they'll do your hair.) “Lots oof stares” (Methinks they’re staring at the hole in your head.) “Be careful – blond turn” (That explains the tire tracks and the mascara smears on the crossing guard...) “Breezes and birds stinging” (Whimpered Magic Johnson when he lost his shorts to Larry Bird and the Celtics in the ’84 playoff games.)
I See Flames
“Sunset Blvd - orange house left” (No doubt it left after being cited for lack of taste.) “Last month rant” (Another session in Congress must be coming to a close...) “Spit rail fence” (Let me guess - latest tune by Mucous Mary and the Phlegmhackers?) “House turd″ (I see you've met my ex.)
I Hear Fire Trucks
“Condo for leash” (You must be the thrill of the dog park...) “English Tudor w/ high patched roof” (It’s your pitch that needs patching, and you must be high.) “Newq lasting - red hot” (That explains the black hole in your cerebral cortex.)
Last Words…
Fabulouse wrap around views…formal dinning room…Master Suit… salin pool (I suggest you don your suit, make your way through the din, drown yourself in the salin pool and enjoy the fabulouse views as you go into the light….)
Epitaph
“No balls after 8 pm” (Hollywood’s version of “Not tonight, honey – I have a headache.”)
For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs: Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa) “Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?) “Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?) “House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…) “Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.) When Ordinary Just Won’t Do “Showing Tim – 1:00 pm” (Does Tim have something to brag about?) “Widow shudders” (Because you just walked into the room?) “Coffin ceilings” (Perfect for an agent like you who is already DOA.) “One car grudge” (Kia owner, I presume?) “Ranch w/ 2 dunk houses” (When a coffee cup just won’t satisfy your donut…) One Toke Over The Line “Drop in sot” (Description under Uncle Paddy’s photo at Chuck-a-Jug.) “Lick your own pants” (Recommended when you slosh your martini. ) “Designer saint” (Vera Wang before she left the convent…) Typo of the Year: “A wonderfuk house” – (Uh, I think that’s only legal in Nevada.)
That’s is for this week, folks. For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen atAgent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week's picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected
"Please compact me" (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa) "Good desin" (So the exorcism was a success?) "Fax or bail docs" (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?) "House with colorful accent" (Must be an Italian villa...) "Watch the sun set over the buffs" (Gold's Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary Just Won't Do
"Showing Tim - 1:00 pm" (Does Tim have something to brag about?) "Widow shudders" (Because an idiot just walked into the room?) "Coffin ceilings" (Perfect for an agent who is already DOA.) "One car grudge" (Kia owner, I presume?) "Ranch w/ 2 dunk houses" (When a coffee cup just won't satisfy your donut...)
One Toke Over The Line "Drop in sot" (Description under Uncle Paddy's photo at Chuck-a-Jug.) "Lick your own pants" (Recommended when you slosh your martini. ) "Designer saint" (Vera Wang before she left the convent...)
Typo of the Year:
"Wonderfuk house" (Uh, I think that's only legal in Nevada!)
That's it until next week, friends. In the meantime, be sure to visit https://www.gwen.banta.com for all your real estate needs.
Gwen Banta helped us purchase two properties in Downtown Los Angeles and it was truly a pleasure working with such an accomplished professional in the ... more
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by BartBisc
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We have bought 3 houses and sold 2 with Gwen. She is the absolute embodiment of why you need a great real estate agent. She is a fierce negotiator, a ... more
"L.A.'S "SHERLOCK OF HOMES" -
Q.S.C., B.H.G.L.A.A.R., C.A.R., N.A.R.
As most of you know, buying a home is a wonderful, though challenging experience. The necessity of incomparable service is something I learned early in my business career. After entering real estate as an investor in income and residential properties, I relocated to L.A. and joined Re/Max's respected Hollywood Hills office located in the Directors Guild of America.
As of January 2009, I am proud to announce that I will be joining SOTHEBY'S INTERNATIONAL REALTY, where I will be developing my own expert team. My business now includes residential and income sales, serving clients in Westside Los Angeles, Studio City and in our rapidly growing Metro area.
I believe that my intuition and tenacity help me to meet any challenge when buying or selling a property, and I am told that my sense of humor helps my clients maintain their sanity during the wild ride through escrow!
Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can answer your questions or help you in any way with all your real estate needs.
* Gwen is a member of five professional organizations
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