A GLITCH IN THE PITCH

If you thought the MLS was full of color and confusion, check out these gems from area newspapers and online real estate sites. Is there a glitch in YOUR pitch?

For Those Who Want Only the Best

"Must see this germ to believe it!" (...said the agent with infectious enthusiasm.)

"Five bedrooms great for parties (Offered by The King of Swing)

"New drips in gardenr" (Penicillin will do the killin.")

"Please remove shoes before woking on carpet." (A stir-fry buy.)

"Let's make deal and celibate." (This must be a nunnery with no funnery.)

"Minimalist design w/ sleek lines. Even your fuzziest buyers will love it."(Let me guess...a hamster wheel?)

Don't Count on Multiple Offers...

"Big closet and another area for hanging." (Presenting the Benedict Arnold Suite. )

"Stable area. Avoid sink hole on Laurel." (Avoid morons who use oxymorons.)

"Cervical driveway accommodates 4 cars." (I think there's a surgery for that.)

"Top of the loin appliances" (Ahhh...so it has built in plumbing?)

THE BEST IS YET TO COME - PLEASE CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE:

The Madcap MLS!

Well folks, we have started off the New Year with a bang...or is it a bong? The MLS and the Real Estate ads are teeming with hilarious misspellings and bizarre descriptions. I suspect we will have a year full of delicious faux pas. (I suppose that would that be written as Fox Paws in MLS-speak.) Please enjoy:

SALES PITCHES RUN AMUCK:

"Kitchen with trash contractor" (For those who want to buy a dump...)

"Wine seller in basement" (Does anyone know he's missing?)

"Must submit proof of funs" (How ‘bout a photo of me on a ferris wheel?)

"Status reneged daily" (Please s__t or get off the pot...)

"Dank hardwood floors thrugout" (Offered by Smelly McSpelly)

"Full frontal and back landscaping" (Calling Dr. Freud...)

"Gracias living space" (Ole'!)

"244 hr notice required - Hurry - will go fast!" (Frankly, I think it's going nowhere.)

KINKY AND STINKY

"Stunning hurse ranch" (We wrangle the dead)

"Canceled - seller says small gas problem" (It's only small when you're not on the receiving end, pal.)

"Master dick overlooks fountain" (OMG - even I won't go there!)

"Tandem area - bedroom option" (How kinky-dink!)

"Large kitchen offers fever views" (Starve a fever, feed a cold.)

"You'll be peasantly surprised" (So was Marie Antoinette...)

"Only beast materials used" (Note to self: "Call PETA and keep my dog close.)

"Two story turkey home" (That's called a poultry farm, bozo...)

"Call for HO and assessment info" (Or just cruise down Hollywood Blvd....)

AND THEY JUST KEEP COMING...

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE