DOG BITES AGENT: DOG TREATED FOR POISONING

Real estate agents have gotten a dirty rap lately. We are rated right up there with psoriasis and Bernie Madoff. Sure, we have some snarky specimens lurking amongst us, but can't that be said of every profession? I decided to make a Warning Signs list of whom to avoid in real estate. Of course, this is Gwen's TGIF list...but what else would you expect from me? Here you go, Agents, Sellers and Buyers - an equal-opportunity help guide to the perfect real estate relationship:

First for the Buyers and Sellers: Never Hire an AGENT Who:

1) Greets you with his right hand, while vigorously adjusting his crotch with his left.
2) Has a coaster protruding from his shirt pocket that says Bury Me at the Lush Lounge
3) Looks at your house and says, "You need to put some lipstick on this pig."
4) Sits on your dog...and enjoys the experience.
5) Removes his sock and uses it to polish his bald spot
6) Says you look like his old cellmate from county lock-up...who was "a hottie."
7) Tells you you look like Golda Meir..."who was a hottie"
8) Continuously asks your lamp, "Whatdya say?"
9) Talks like Julia Child and brags about his Star Jones wig collection
10) Says "I never miss a detail, Betty," ...and your name is Sue

And for the Agents: Never Work With a BUYER Who:

1) Brags that his FICO scores are lower than his double digit IQ
2)...For More DOG BITES AGENT, please click here