Friday, July 9, 2010

How To Lose Your Pants With a Smile

Ah, yes, folks - it was a great 4th with sunshine, bar-be-ques, brewskies, and enough grammar and spelling pandemonium on the MLS to set off fireworks. These are the best of the bunch - a metaphorical fireworks grand finale, full of shock and awe!

Hold Onto Your Shorts!

"Include Shorts in clean Package" (Hey pervert sniffer-boy, get your own skivvies!)

"Shunny new kichen with barr" ( Shomeone's shnockered on schnapps...)

"Pool with sin deck - very nice!" (Uh, methinks a pool with sin deck is considered VICE.)

"Will look at offers from non-prophets first" (Oh, honey, you must sell real estate in Malibu...)

"Near park with many haking trails" (Calling Lizzie Borden...your hatchet is ready.)

"New restraining wall" (Believe me...I'm restraining myself now!)

It Always Leads Back to Jersey...

"Cooler comes with house" (Uh, if this is the Jersey hitman kind of cooler, then we've finally located uncle Vito.)

"New Homeowners Assascionation" (Hey Uncle Vito, business must be booming!)

"Leaded gass in lawyer's library stays" (Yeah, that smell does tend to linger...)

"State o f art alarm" (Is it hooked up in the Lawyer's Library?)

"Murial on wall in dining area" (Murial's husband in San Quentin doing One Hundred to Life...with Uncle Vito's driver.)

"Nice new gym with custom pain" (No pain, no gain, right Vito?)

"Building has good HO" (Gre-a-a-t...everyone loves a hooker with a heart.)