Friday, July 17, 2009

Hi Everyone,
Last week I blogged about the ridiculous comments often heard in real estate. Well, one of my loyal readers, Joe Loomer, a humorist and great Agent Genius contributor, had a delightful idea: Outrageous Remarks Made by Agents About Their Clients. I did a quick survey, and here are a few hilarious remarks my fellow agents claim to have heard (no one will admit to saying them, of course):

Ten People Shouldn't Share One Brain

"I told her this was Exclusive Agency, and she said she was already under contract to Creative Artists." (So that's why you submitted a head shot with the offer!)

"The place looks like Oz - the seller let his estranged wife do the decorating." (So who did he hire as his divorce attorney - Gloria Allred?)

"My buyer needs to buy a place for himself and his girlfriend. He doesn't want his wife to know." (Does he need a good decorator?)

"The seller told me he and his wife had sex on the new granite counter top." (Great - I'm sure my buyers will find butt prints very appetizing.)

"My seller is afraid that the Wonderland murder house, which is two doors down, will discourage your buyers." (Nah - this is L.A. - they'll lie down in front of the house and take photos for Mom.)

"My buyer loves the Carole Lombard Estate...he wants to know if she was related to Vince Lombardi?" ( Yes, and Shaq and Ryan are brothers, nitwit.)

"The seller said he's throwing in his wife's Porche as a bonus." (...No doubt she'll be throwing in a Lorena Bobbit bonus .)

"My seller thinks your buyer is trying to screw her." (Does she have granite countertops?)

"The seller said his mother-in-law had a heart attack and died in the outdoor Jacuzzi."
(Remember these words: Drag and Roll, Drag and Roll, Drag and Roll.)

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