Some of you may remember a blog I wrote a few months ago called Un-Real Estate - Shutta Yo Mouth, which quoted some ridiculous comments made by buyers. Well now it's time to buck up and admit that, as agents, we have often said some things that could have been better stated. And sellers have contributed some classic lines themselves. So here are examples of comments made by agents and sellers...followed by the words we maybe SHOULD have said:
Zip It, Please!
We can't go any lower. (Unless you're the governor of South Carolina)
All offers are welcome (Although we may burn them and then stick needles in a doll that looks just like you.)
That's just mildew. (Would you like to borrow my inhaler?)
The elementary school is not much of a problem. (As long as you're Marlee Matlin.)
The high school is not much of a problem either. (As long as you are Marlee Matlin and you're unconscious.)
Sure, we can sell this for more than any other home in the area. (And I can fly upside down in a cow paddy rain storm while doing the Macarena.)
Can You Handle the Truth?
How clever - a cement yard that only needs a quick wash. (Your wife needs a quick shave, and she'll still be ugly, too.)
You probably should have gotten a permit. (The sky needle on your house is interesting, but the sparks off the high wires may discourage potential buyers.)
Yes, odors are objective. (Although the corn processing plant down the street smells like infected feet and brings back fond memories of Uncle Herb, you may want to disclose it.)
No, I do not consider $150k less than list price a low ball offer. (Do you consider a slap upside the head assault and battery?)
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