Friday, October 30, 2009

Ripley's Real Estate - Believe It or Not!

Ripley's Real Estate:

We all know the importance of staging a home in order to get the best price possible. Some sellers do it themselves, while others prefer professional staging companies. I live in a town where many people work in the film business, so I often see movie memorabilia used as house decor. Not all of it is attractive; in fact, some of it is downright absurd, hideous or hilarious. I would like to share a few examples of poor staging I have actually witnessed with my own bloodshot eyeballs:

Maybe You Should Re-think That, Pal

The morgue table being used as a dining room table in the home of a known Hollywood Actor (Ideal for cold buffets.)

The throne toilet in the Beverly Hills home of a Broadway producer. When someone sits on the seat, it plays 76 Trombones. (For the Rooty Tooty Royal Bootie.)

The in-home bar with an IV bag full of booze, supposedly from the show, ER. (Line up for the ever popular Nip and Drip!)

The soda fountain with stools shaped like open hands. (In case you want a bit of grab_ss with your sweet thing.)

The pot plant in the greenhouse window ('s an "herb garden," wink wink. And I suppose that grow light over the plant is a solar panel...)

The "dead dog" on the floor of one producer's office that looked so real it was upsetting. (The owner cleverly named the dog "Stay.")

The clock that said "In ‘N' Out Burger"...with the ‘B" and the last "R" in burger removed. (The clock was over the the guest room.)

The double closets, staged by a professional staging company, with male clothes in both. (Unfortunately, the absent and clueless seller was a very married rabbi...)

The mushroom shaped table with an Alice in Wonderland sized hookah and a set of cymbals.

(Bang a Gong and Smoke a Bong.)

A pale blue velour arched bed frame with tassels. (Ahhhhh - the mellow bordello.)

Bad Mojo:

The giant White Elephant in a house in the Valley - a house that just...would...not...ever...sell.... (Never ignore the "elephant in the living room.")


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